Malajham’s Blog

CONFUCIUS: “The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself.”

The practice of self forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the self and the world. Forgiveness involves letting go and surrender of judgment and condemnation. Forgiveness of yourself or someone else, though not easy, can transform your life. Researchers have recently become interested in studying the effects of being “unforgiving” and being “forgiving”. Evidence is mounting that holding on to grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers numerous benefits: Lower blood pressure, Stress reduction, Less hostility, Better anger management skills, Lower heart rate, Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse, Fewer depression symptoms, Fewer anxiety symptoms, Reduction in chronic pain, more friendships, healthier relationships, Improved psychological and spiritual well-being.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Your mother criticized your parenting skills. Your friend gossiped about you. Your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance.

The energy of “unforgiveness” feels heavy, pressure filled, tight, absolutely no inner space to breathe. This is because we hold on to grudges and resentments and we are collecting the hurtful energies within us as it is extremely difficult to let go and forget.

As I have been suggesting, sharing and offering in my Life series, that those who choose and long for freedom need to make a commitment to start everything with self, first. So again even forgiveness needs to start with self.We need to initiate self forgiveness so that we can start giving freedom to ourselves.

Nature is our true teacher. Everything in nature goes through changes. We know that the seed becomes a plant and then a tree and then bears fruits. We know that a conceived foetus changes to form the human embryo that changes into an infant.  Nothing can stay the same. Everything needs to change as that is the law of the Universe. Every condition can be transmuted   and everything is always changing. Energy cannot be destroyed or created but yes energy can be transmuted. This is the Cosmic law.

In the same way the energy of unforgiveness can be changed into forgiveness only when we make the choice, we all have a free will. We all need to be conscious of what is it that I want to create in my own life? This is being conscious and aware.

We all have the resentful, judgmental personality that resides in us. First and foremost we need to begin by bringing awareness and acceptance to this aspect with kindness. We need to allow it to be present in us and feel it in our bodies with kindness. Attention with intention begins the inner work of transformation. We need to embrace our imperfections and limitations with kindness.

Notice where in your body do you feel the energy of unforgiveness. Be with the energy with kindness. Notice the thoughts present around the unforgiving experience. Breathe and be with the energies with kindness. No judgements, no labels simply being present. Stay with all the feelings that get triggerred from this exercise.

Do the above at your own pace. When it feels uncomfortable stop and be there with yourself. It is important that each one of us begins with self kindness. Bear in mind that you can’t force someone to forgive you. They will need to move to forgiveness in their own time. However you can choose to begin with self. Holding on to resentment against yourself can be just as toxic as holding on to resentment against someone else. Recognize that poor behavior or mistakes don’t make you worthless or bad. Accept the fact that you — like everyone else — aren’t perfect. Accept yourself despite your faults. Admit your mistakes. Instead of dwelling on the injustice and revenge, instead of being angry and bitter, you can move toward a life of peace, compassion, mercy, joy and kindness.

Forgiveness is not about condoning another’s hurtful actions, it is about releasing your negative emotions and perceptions about the painful events. Otherwise you keep yourself chained to those events or people – you keep it alive within you – and you carry it with you where-ever you go.  It is a very heavy burden to carry around and you end up crippling yourself emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

To forgive does not mean we agree with or condone inappropriate behavior, it means we are willing to let go, move on or free ourselves from the burden of resentment.


1) A) Journal or write about your feelings, what happened and let it all out. Express yourself.

B) You may also simply speak it all out but remember to stay with the feelings.

2) Take responsibility for your part in the issues, disagreement or problem. It is often helpful to look at how you may do things differently next time, so you can learn from this experience.

3) Consider whether you are even willing to forgive yet. If not I would recommend that you take some steps to work through the underlying feelings you are still carrying around, such as anger, hurt or a myriad of other emotions. When you are unwilling go back to step 1 and repeat until you feel willingness beginning to emerge.

4) Make the decision to forgive anyone involved in the situation. Don’t forget yourself if you need it too. Decide if you need to say or write anything to anyone involved to get your feelings out and be heard. The person you are forgiving does not need to be willing or present for you to complete this process. You can ask an objective person to be on the receiving end if you don’t feel safe or comfortable going to the person who you are upset with. You can visualize that you are speaking to that person when you are speaking to a friend or  an objective listener.

5) Let go! Keep in mind you are choosing to forgive, if you are holding on to a belief that the other person has to do something before you’ll forgive you are choosing to remain stuck. If you find situations re-stimulating the old feelings of hurt you may need to repeat step 1.

Keep in mind this process is not easy but it is very rewarding and can be very freeing. Often times we have to act our way into feeling differently by reminding ourselves that we have chosen forgiveness for a particular situation or problem until we get back to that place of peace!

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge or embrace forgiveness and move forward. When you don’t practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies


It is in giving that we receive, so let’s begin with giving forgiveness so that we receive freedom, peace, joy and infinite vastness and spaciousness.

Freedom to all.

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Are you listening? Really listening? Or do you only hear? Most of us only hear.Do you think there is a difference between hearing and listening? Yes there definitely is a difference for sure. Hearing is simply an act of perceiving the sound by the ear. Listening  requires being mindful and really consciously understanding the needs hidden behind the words and sentences. This is important for true understanding and empathy.

In our day to day lives we are moving around in a haste all the time with no time to really sit with ourselves. We are again not aware of what is really happening inside our own bodies? It is imperative to begin with self. To spend a few moments during the day during several intervals and to really pause and listen—What is it that I truly need right now? Do I need a break, do I need to have some fun, Do I need to do nothing? This is what I mean by deep listening, we listen and start giving to ourselves what we need in the moment. Even if it means giving myself a hug or a chocolate delight etc.,

Learning to listen and learning to nurture and nourish ourselves in the moment. This habit helps me begin to start developing self care. Listening to self opens up an inner dialogue, a deep connection, a deeper bonding and intimacy with self. This initiates the movement of  energy  flow.

This is a great exercise to start beginning to understand the “self” at a deeper level. It develops kindness and empathy towards self. We awaken our own compassionate nature towards self.It opens the space to self appreciation, self acknowledgement, self honor, and self respect.

Wow isn’t listening then an amazingly powerful tool towards self discovery, self inquiry and self recognition? This great art helps us to start feeding ourselves up with all our needs to promote a healthy inner life which then starts to radiate outward in all sectors of life. When we start listening to our spouses, our children, our friends, our employees so on and so forth till it reaches out to empathetically listening to every being.

All the above starts to promote healthy lifestyles,relationships and healthy global environment.

With listening we start becoming witnesses to our needs as well as the other person’s needs.We no longer reject self or the other. We no longer abandon or betray self or the other.We develop patience and kindness with self as well as towards the others.

The  rewards of this deep listening are immediate and they ripple across and echo through our lives creating optimum benefits limitlessly.

The art of real listening helps us to slow down our own  defenses as we begin to start feeling safe with all aspects of self. We start paying attention to all the energies present within us. We start to really listen and be present consciously with a deep sense of awareness of everything.

When we stay fully present and mindful we  learn to develop this same empathetic mindfulness with everyone around us.

In the absence of listening we only briefly hear what the other is expressing. We are in fact not even fully present in our own bodies. When we are not there for ourselves do you think we can be there for the others?

Many times too, as soon as the other person starts speaking, we are busy preparing our answers before they even have 5 words out of their mouths. This is because of our own inner restlessness and impatience attitude towards self.

Look at our biggest societal complaints: families are falling apart. Politicians are out of touch with the people. Social discourse lacks civility. At the root of these issues is, in part, the same cause: people aren’t listening.

We can change all this by changing ourselves.

STEPS TO  DEVELOP  LISTENING SKILLS—-Remember your skill as a listener can either enhance or stagnate your inner and outer growth.

1. Develop mindful listening: Pay attention to your own physical sensations when someone speaks. Such perceptiveness is possible because we humans have “mirror neurons”. This allows us to feel what others are feeling.


2 Stay present and grounded.Be mindful.

In mindfulness one is conscious of the entire process. In this way one practices contemplation on the body. When standing, you are fully  aware that you are  standing, when sitting, there is total knowledge of sitting; and when lying down, the full experience of lying down. By experiencing each moment, the mind clings no more to the world”-Buddha, Samyutta Nikaya

“Do not go after the past,
Nor lose yourself in the future.
For the past no longer exists,
And the future is not yet here.
By looking deeply at things just as they are,
In this moment , here and now,
The seeker lives calmly and freely- Buddha

3. Practice mindful listening: PHYSICAL REACTION OF COMMUNICATION






4. Use para-phrasing: Basic form includes—-owned language:” I hear you saying”  Repeat to the other what you heard in your own words:”………. that you……”

Use perception checking question to the end.”Am I correct”

5. Use the proper content, intent and tone. Adapt appropriately and listen actively.

The above simple steps help the person communicating feel heard, cared and supported. This leads to healthy relationships and bonding.


Be Free.

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As per my perception,the prime most important energy needed for  inner freedom is that of surrender.To me it sounds like “sure end here”, end what? Well a lot of energies that actually come in the way of inner harmony.

We all have the controlling aspect within us because as children we received the same from our parents. We will be able to give what we best received. So of course when controlled we can only  offer the same to the world. When we notice and bring our controlling aspect into  attention and make a new choice of opening to surrender then we begin to be with the flow of life.To maintain inner harmony with divine law we all need to learn to surrender.”Not my will but thy will”.

The energy of control definitely has an immense amount of charge to it. It heightens and tenses everything within us.Like the bull  who snorts red rageful energies. So also a controlling person seems to be red and uptight with inner chaos and disharmony. The sentence that keeps echoing within such a psychopath personality is,” I am right and you are wrong.”

It is the law of the Universe when we try to push against an energy it in fact pushes us back with greater force. It’s like two warriors with swords fighting on a battlefield. Of course both are going to hurt themselves.Nobody wins here. When we tend to fight against what life offers us we in fact get more drowned in our own miseries.

In order to harmonise life, we need to allow,accept and be with reality with kindness. This means surrendering and accepting that whatever is here now is for my highest good. It means moving with the will of God. It means flowing and following the divine plan that is already planned for our individual lives.We all need to give ourselves to the rhythm of the Universe that allows life to pulsate harmoniously.

One needs to move with the current of life and accept reality as it is rather than move against it. We all need to learn surely to  end all our so called “shit” right here right now. For only when we accept and be with kindness with  our own “shit” then the inner “shift” occurs. When there is no inner fight, calmness and stillness arises.This feels like an inner void which allows the creation of a new way of being to unfold. It awakens the unknown.It brings in inner peace.

I can truly say that indeed there is an infinite power in Surrender. It allows the emergence of our life purpose to unfold in an harmonious manner and allows the smooth functioning of the human journey.


1. Use your free will to choose to change your attitude and renew your way of thinking about how you are going to live life.

2. Recognize and be aware of your inner resistance.To give up control is indeed very difficult and feels scary. Bring this into awareness. Feel your fears and be with it all without the need to do anything about it.

3. Breathe and allow yourself to fall and get lost in the unknown ( a new way of being)

4. Have faith and know whatever is for your highest good will unfold in your life. Allow,accept and flow with the Divine plan.

4. Surrender to the pain of letting go of control,giving up old aspects of your nature,old way of being. This pain is natural and needs to be felt so that you awaken to a greater way of being.

Surrendering brings in more peace, my friends. The load you normally carry will be lightened. The internal tension and stress that your body might be under will be decreased. This is likely to have a positive effect on your health.

More information on Surrender:


Infinite blessings.


When I mention the word,”Pleasure” here, I am not talking about the temporary short termed pleasure that is attained from  acquiring external objects like music, books, shopping,eating etc., I am trying to open up your awareness to a deeper meaning of the term”PLEASURE”, that is our birthright.

Just as  a fuller Breath is needed for  optimum healthy survival,so also pleasure, a deeper term, is an important ingredient that enhances the life force in us. Everything in life needs movement to feel alive,no movement means halt/standstill/death.Pleasure an emotion evokes movement within our cells and generates a charge throughout the inner cellular circuitry of our existence.

An experience of pleasure is needed to feel  truly awakened and alive.It feels like an inner bubbly boost that charges up our bodily systems and helps us feel fulfilled and nourished.It is a potent force like the gush of the waterfalls spraying its watery spray around to everyone within its vicinity. Negative ions are generated around waterfalls that feel very purifying and nurturing. Similarly the pleasure energy when awakened rejuvenates us entirely.

Visualise and feel the experience in your own bodies right now  of the “Big Bang” in the cosmos and the emission of the light particles zooming forth across the Cosmos embracing, enveloping everyone and everything within and around.

This is the pleasure that I am referring to here. It feels like life streaming forth into unlimited expansiveness. It envelopes every being,a feeling of “Oneness.” with all of life.

Just as a plant needs fertilisers that act as the catalyst to help spur up the growth of the plant into a fully blossomed tree so also we humans need  to awaken this deep place of pleasure in our own bodies. Pleasure is the essence of human growth in all life sectors.

The pathwork lectures mention that, “A liberated human being with little or no blocks and inhibitions, without distortions and negativity, is capable of a high degree of pleasure”. We need to begin the work of working on our inner distortions to  experience pleasure in our own bodies.It is only when we reach the point where we can open the inner flow to remove all obstructions and blocks then we can experience a high degree of bliss. It is then we will know and experience that human bliss is the same as cosmic bliss, the spiritual and physical pleasure are one and not the opposites.

Just like the way the fish swims in the vast ocean freely,without any obstructions.We, who choose to initiate inner freedom start experiencing the oceanic vastness within us. We need to learn to unwind and let go of our own inner so called negativity so as to open the space for this unlimited supply of cosmic abundance to be felt in our own inner bodies. This helps us to be who we  truly are and oozes out our unlimited potentialities in the vast planet called earth.With pleasure, our entire being vibrates and pulsates undividedly in harmony with ourselves, the Universe and with every other being. Open up the inner fountain of unlimited pleasure and radiate and contribute this to the world.


1. Recycle negative thoughts.It is imperative for you to realize that negative emotions cause adverse chemical secretions  in the brain that hinder our natural abilities. Follow the process that I have mentioned in my earlier articles where you observe your own thoughts and make a choice to take responsibility not to get drowned in them. You choose a new way as you remember that all this is due to the historical beliefs.

2. Work on following the process to allow the flow of your emotions. Allow the inner river to flow and stop it from getting stagnant with the stuck emotions.

3. Eat consciously. Be aware of what you eat. Eat healthy natural organic foods. Get the proper balanced intake of proteins,carbohydrates and fats. Eat wisely and in moderation.

4. Exercise regularly. Our body is designed to function properly  only with physical exertion. This helps remove toxins and secrete beneficial chemicals.

5. Rest well. Sleep is important to eliminate toxins and rejuvenate oneself. Recharge your inner batteries so as to allow the unfoldment of inner power and freedom.

6.Intend to be happy and open to receive grace and blessings into your life.

7.Do not fight internally with your inner psychological and emotional garbage. Instead  simply allow, accept and feel everything with kindness. This awakens the free flow and spaciousness to arise.

The above are simple steps to embody and feel deep pleasure,an important ingredient of life.

Infinite pleasure to all.


Hmmm Self Care, simply pause and notice in yourself, do you really care for yourself? Or are you simply a caretaker for the others?Majority of us fall in the latter half category.We like to self sacrifice and be the ones available for everyone else. This is again because of what we learnt when we were children.  Our cultural message from early on say,”Don’t be selfish or ask for help”,”You can do it on your own put others needs before your own”.To be there for self has been regarded by the society as being selfish.This is the most erroneous belief pattern that has been passed down since generations. It is no wonder then that the moment  the word self care is mentioned ,most of us draw a blank or begin to squirm.

When  there are two young children in the family it is taught to the elder one in the family to be there for the other one.Yes to be there for the other one is great only when you do not sacrifice your needs.It is important that each one of us  starts caring for self and starts looking after one’s own individual needs.

Only when my own cup is full can I then pour out and genuinely share with the others. This is the reason when we fly on air crafts, in case of an emergency it is announced first take care of self with the oxygen mask before you attend to the other. When one is strong and healthy then only can one be there for the other. But when we constantly  sacrifice ourselves all the time and betray ourselves then all areas of our lives begin to suffer.

Why? Because we are sending messages out to the Universe that I am not worthy,I do not deserve, I cannot receive etc., Remember the way we treat ourselves is the way we will be treated by the world. We attract relationships where we get betrayed time and again. We attract friends who stab us behind our backs. Why? Because we are constantly killing ourselvs to save the other so of course the message sent out to the Universe is that it is alright to be killed,stabbed,betrayed  as this is normal for me. Majority of us are far better taking care of our loved ones than we are at taking care of ourselves. This belief seems hardwired in our DNA.

This attitude towards self then gives rise to  repressed rage,anger,hatred, jealousy that is building up in the shadow. All this is definitely at sometime going to pour out like a pressure cooker that blows the whistle and throws its steam all over the place at some point of time for sure,this is inevitable.

Why wait for chaos to occur when we can start by becoming conscious and knowing that I am precious and that this body that I have incarnated in this lifetime needs to be nurtured and nourished by me. I am the one  who needs to  be there for myself first.We need to educate ourselves that we are  more worthy than our negative attitudes,we deserve to love ourselves more.We need to squash out the old beliefs and claim new  ones to set ourselves free.

Only when my needs are fulfilled then the help and support that I offer to the others will be real,genuine and authentic. It will then pour out from my essence and flow out to be shared with the world genuinely. Or else the energies feel all gooey,sticky. This is the reason all the back biting and bitchy tendencies get evoked because even though we help, we do not do it unconditionally because an aspect of us has been denied. But when we first set boundaries and learn that I need to be there  for myself first then the care that is offered to the others is coming from a deeper genuine compassionate place.When you do not take care of yourself,your performance and resourcefulness on the job and/or as a parent are diminished. Your health and well being are compromised and your joy suffers as life begins to feel flat. Imagine the price you pay!

You age faster when you do not take care of yourself. The greatest cause of early aging is stress. A self care deficit is the precursor to stress.

Do you truly now understand that you cannot skip self care. Yes? I can hear some of you saying, Sounds like a great idea but the reality is … I’m  too busy, I can’t afford it, people will think I am crazy.

Either begin self care or continue to kill self and kill others as well. You betray self you will betray others. You will attract betrayals.It is your own creation. Be responsible and make a new choice.


1. Start by making  a list of  5 ways you can practice enhanced self care.Perhaps take  a bubble bath for as long as you’d like, join the gym and actually go for work outs. Start eating consciously.

2. Learn to set boundaries and give space and time to self first. Learn to say “No”  when it is not possible for you to devote time to others.

3. Take short 30-50 seconds breaks where you pause to breathe deeply.Do this at several intervals throughout the day. Slow down and be aware and conscious of the moment.Be grateful to yourself.

4. Receive regular massages. Everybody needs to receive and unwind. Human touch is so important in our lives. A new born baby when left untouched for days cannot survive. We are programmed to receive touch.

Set aside a portion of your earnings for self care. This is very important as  when you give to yourself you send messages to the Universe that you are open to receiving. It is the law  of the Universe that the more you give the more you get.So start giving to self and open the doors to abundance.

5. Be playful and set aside time for fun activities that you really enjoy. You may like going out in nature or perhaps enjoy shopping. Fill yourselves, nurture and nourish yourself.

Continue expanding the self care list. Get started today,right now. Affirm ” I am worthy.”

Begin the above process and watch the magic unfold in all sectors of your life.

Be addicted and intoxicate yourself with self care.

Be Well.

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This Earth is the richest place to live in with all of “you” living in it. Each one of you are truly unique,special,gifted with just the “you” quality. There is only one like you on this Earth. Nobody can be exactly like you.We are all different. We are all gifted. Can you feel this in yourselves now? Can you feel that you are a living miracle? Our creator has created us all  with a purpose. No one on this Earth is unworthy. Everything and everyone has a purpose.

I am talking to you. Each one who is reading this blog is “special”. When we are born we are all lighted up with our own beauty. This is the reason babies feel so juicy as they are radiating out  their inborn light just like the sun.

Our traumatic life experiences start to hide our own sunshine from ourselves. Our self critical natures, our self hatred,our self judgements, starts clouding the radiant Sun within us and starts to dim the inner light that we are all born with.

How do I begin to redeem back the lost light? How do I learn to take charge of my own life and beam the inner light to all?

It is important to know that it is indeed my birthright to allow my inner light to shine. Nobody can stop me as I now choose to be the Master/Mistress of my own life.

Please know that it is entirely your own choice which way you  want to live. Do you want to continue living in the inner stagnant state, where you hide all of your potentialities or do you want to rise up and shine like the “Kohinoor” ( largest diamond in the world) that you truly are?

It all begins by making the choice to change. First know, feel and say to yourself that ,”I am a STAR”, a “CELEBRITY” on this planet.I need to give to myself what I never received in my own childhood.  I am going to take the reins of my life in my own hands and do something about it. Become your own  life saviours. Take this oath today and make the choice to remember and recognize your true identity.

Probably we went through a lot of abuse in our childhood. I do understand and feel your pain. Yes we have all been through emotional abuse  of some kind or the other which we have received from our parents, teachers,siblings,peers etc., Then again then we were young and could not  do much about it. We were helpless then. We became victims then and started to believe what the outside world taught us about ourselves to be  true.

I am not saying that we all received only trauma. We also received praises probably, but,alas not everyone. I am here to help you to  reclaim your true glorious nature.

Let us take responsibility to nurture and nourish our own inner child . Let us start and begin to re-parent ourselves. We can become the kind parent to ourselves. We need to first stop blaming our life, our parents and everybody else. Because blaming is  a form of loosing your own power. When we blame we are not moving anywhere we are simply drowning deeper into our own inner  historical whirlpool of belief patterns. It feels like sinking into a quicksand where you cannot breathe and you are choking yourself . You are living in discomfort and spreading and projecting that discomfort around to  everyone else. You are in fact not only contaminating yourself but also contaminating the environment.Be conscious,be aware as surely there is a way out.

Start to recycle your own inner thoughts,allow the flow of the suppressed emotions and thus help both yourself as well as the world to glow. Allow the inner river of life to flow.

Remember the way I view myself ,the world views me, remember it is all about my attitude towards myself. Change attitude towards self and everything changes.

I understand that we have all been through rough patches in our lives. We can continue and stay stuck in the  debris of the ancient historical ruins or be aware of them and make a different choice. We all need to grow up someday to create what we want so why not start now. Why wait?

It is indeed a momentous accomplishment for us to awaken to our true essence.It actually fulfills the purpose of our lives.As the Zen Master Dogen once said,that ” To have lived your life and not to have realized your true nature is to have lived in vain.”


Here is the practice I use, a practice which you can make your own, and use it to wake up fully to the beautiful, conscious person you are:

Step 1: Learn To Welcome Your Experience

It is easy to welcome good experiences, but awakening depends on your willingness to welcome—or at least accept—the negative ones too, those you would normally push away, avoid, deny, reject, etc.

So, whenever upset, conflict, or struggle arises, your psychological or emotional buttons get pushed, or you find yourself challenged in some way, you must learn to welcome it, to allow it to be. Feel it in your body, bring attention to it. When you become aware you  initiate change in everything. This allows the energy to continue to flow and prevents it from getting stuck,blocked or frozen in your human systems. After all, it is showing you where you are not yet free. You can even say to yourself: “Ah, I welcome the presence of this conflict in my life. It is showing me where I am not yet free.”

Remember, you are learning to welcome your suffering, not any pain you may be experiencing. Life includes both pain and suffering.It is never constant bed of roses. This is important to understand and accept. Yes I have the inner power to allow the flow of everything to occur so that I can be in the flow with everything.

Pain is a fact of life, and simply has to be accepted when it is present. When you accept it, then you can work with it, and alleviate it through relaxing as much as you can around it. But when pain is resisted, there is always a story of some kind, as in “I hate this pain and want it to go away!”  Remember what you resist, persists.It is the story causing you to suffer, which is why the next step is important…

Step 2:  Notice The Story

Behind every reactive emotion, whether it is stress, self-doubt, guilt, anger, envy, jealousy, loneliness, anxiety, depression, or fear there is always a story, belief, or thought. Notice the “story” you are telling yourself, keeping the emotion alive and in the flow.

Most people are in touch to some degree with their personal stories, their emotional “history,” but you may have to dig deep within yourself. The story may not be immediately obvious. When you find the memory of something in your past triggering the reaction in the present, don’t dwell on it.  Be aware,  be conscious,feel it,allow it to flow. Don’t get stuck in it. Be aware that it’s just more story, more thought to keep you in the emotionally reactive place. Just know there is a story (historical belief) behind your suffering.

If it helps, you can affirm to yourself the one story that is always true: “I am not my story… I am the pure awareness which is present right now…”

Step 3: Be Present

Now breathe and relax into the feeling of being present. Listen to the sounds around you. Notice the sensations, the aliveness in your body. Feel your own energy. Be aware of the things in your immediate environment.

Observe any residual feelings or emotions, but don’t try and alter them in any way. Don’t get lost in analyzing or trying to understand or change what you are feeling. Don’t create a new “story” around it. Notice where the feeling or emotion is in your body, and just feel  it and allow it to flow. Remain as the clear, alert presence you are, as the awareness behind the thought, belief, or story.

Notice how “you,” as an aware being, as the witness of your body, mind, and personality, are still very much here, yet you don’t need any concept, belief, or story to define yourself in this moment. As you breathe and stay in this place of alert, expanded awareness, you will feel a shift in your energy. The emotional contraction will unwind, and you will feel more relaxed, more at ease, more whole. You will feel more truly present, more centered and grounded. All this comes with practice so be gentle and kind towards the process and of course most important towards yourself. Look after yourself, first.

Shift happens as then you see everything anew, and you can deal with what’s in front of you from a place of confidence and strength. You use the power of thought, your goals and dreams, to create what you are passionate about.

As you master this practice, you will become freer, more present, and more in the flow. You will begin to know yourself as the awareness looking at the story, the awareness which watches your body, mind, and personality. At some level, you begin to realize your true, fundamental nature is clear, vibrant, present-time consciousness itself.

Eventually, when you are really curious about discovering your true nature, you will take the “fourth” and final step to awakening, the one that will completely and, for all intents and purposes, permanently free you. What is the fourth step? It is to question this very “me,” this “I” you take yourself to be. With deep self-inquiry you will discover it is just a “story” too—the story-teller. The “I” telling the story is no more real than any other thought. Even though it occupies center stage in your personal life, you cannot actually find the “I” or “me” thought anywhere in your mind.

At some point, it will dawn on you that your true nature is the beautiful, timeless consciousness behind everything. As consciousness, you are the source of everything you experience in your life, including the “I” thought, the ego itself, and the many stories you tell. To know this, and to embody the knowing, is to be free. Then, from this place, you act, you be your life. You realize that you are, and always have been, the creator of your own universe.

So my dear ones embark on this journey of self discovery of your own magnificence.Do not wait. Start here right now.

My inner light acknowledges your inner light. For both light up the cosmos together  to make it more beautiful.We are  all Divine,separate,unique  and  we are united as well in this luminescent world.

By separate I mean distinct with our special gifts.By united it is the feeling of “Oneness” that starts to dawn when you surrender into your own heart and allow the inner light to embrace everything and everyone on this Earth, Universe and Cosmos.

May all beings be free from pain and suffering.

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Let’s begin to first understand what being” in tension” means. Well,well, well, I am sure majority of us know this place extremely well. We are actually born with it. As this energy of tension has been breeding into our ancestral lineage through eons of time. Being part of the race we all carry it deep within our cells. Who knows when and where it all started its origins. We are not here to look into when but surely we need to learn the way to be with it with kindness as that paves the path for its dissolution.

In the English dictionary tension is defined as The act of stretching or straining

When we are born as babies we are all so soft,supple and flexible. How come then we start accumulating all these energies that stretch and strain us and in fact get so ingrained in us that we forget what it really means to feel free.

It feels like the tight wringing of a towel in our body where with every life experience knots start accumulating in different parts of our bodies—our neck,shoulders,chest,diaphgram,hips,legs etc.,

All this wringing is actually starting to drain and deplete us and pull us away from our true nature of freedom. When we look at nature we feel happy. The free movement of  the breeze,the movement of the plants naturally swaying with the breeze,the birds flying freely in the skies, the butterflies enjoying smelling the pollen and flowers all this makes us feel peaceful and free. When all this freedom is abundantly available in nature why is it then that we humans choose to become Human “doings”. We forget that we are actually human “beings”.

The dictionary meaning of the word “being,” is state or sphere of existence. We transform from “existence” into “exhaustion”. We transform from “humans” into “machines”. We start actually going away from our natural truth towards a place of  stuckness. This stuckness spreads into our entire bodily system as well as  spreads into our external lives, our homes,families, neighbourhood,communities and the entire world. This inner tension gets projected outside in the form of chaos,wars,arguments,discords.

Energy always follows thought. All this initiates in the mind with our thought/belief patterns.We start to get stuck in our thoughts—— the disrupting so termed negative thoughts.—-the so called historical belief patterns that has been passed down to us from our lineage. We label them as negative.

Instead let us simply start looking at it as energy. Let us witness and be with it all with kindness without acting on them but simply noticing them with kindness. When we begin to sit with ourselves spending time daily either by journalling in a diary or simply by breathing and becoming aware of it all by tolerating it within us, the emptying process begins.We observe these thoughts like clouds moving in the sky and simply watch them passing by.

We also know very well how to  freeze our emotions by not feeling them—- the denial and rejection of our emotion builds up in our internal system and all this accumulation feels like tension and hard rocks in our physical bodies.

Again as we all desire and long for freedom we need to consciously start the process of inner change by becoming vulnerable,authentic and feeling our suppressed emotions.My friends we can only heal when we feel. It is not about collapsing or engulfing yourself in sorrow. But yes it is about melting the pain through tears.We all have experienced that when we cry we start to feel better and lighter inside ourselves. This is what I mean instead of holding it all inside we need to surrender and feel our pain. Yes we all have oceans of tears sitting inside us. Why because we all have learnt the art of accumulating them inside us. When we are born the doctors want to make sure that we cry as that is considered to be important to know that the baby is normal. Why then do we learn to stop crying —–again it is because of the belief in the society that “only weak people cry” or “men don’t cry” or ” you have to be strong” etc.,

Stop suppressing it all and start expressing it consciously to begin the letting go process.

My dear ones only when we feel our own pain compassionately then we will awaken to compassion with the others. Otherwise we all learn to adopt the attitude “who cares”.We read the daily newspapers,but, the world happenings are all like stories that are read by flipping through the pages. Do we really understand or feel the empathy for a dying soul.No,again this is because we do not sit empathically with ourselves. Let us start being caring with empathy towards ourselves so that we can filter that empathy to the world.We can only give what we have in us. So start with self.

We all long to be held with kindness, start by holding self with kindness. Spread this “kindness good virus” around the world.In computers, a virus is a program or programming code that replicates by being copied or initiating its copying to another program, computer boot sector or document. Let us all become the “KINDNESS VIRUS”,that multiplies and expands and spreads into the entire global computer—the Earth.

Today when we are living in the world of E-commerce,E-banking,E-gates don’t you think we need to start the age of “E-motions”

( E=exhaling). This means that we need to start exhaling and letting go. We need to give motion to the Emotions.

We need to reclaim our true nature of existence that of “Being”.Being like the strong oak tree that stays centered in the midst of hail or storm. The tree that continues to enjoy the sunshine and in fact receives its full nurturance and nourishment from the sun.

We can learn to become grounded and rooted like the tree with our roots firmly planted into Mother Earth that is so kind, generous that she can hold us all in her arms. In fact it is we humans who forget to reside into her warmth. Just like babies who like to be cuddled and held in the mother’s arms we all too can learn to rest and feel safe by staying connected to the fertile soil of the Earth.

This is the first step of shifting from “tension” to “intention”.We call this term”Grounding”.

In electronic circuit theory, a “ground” is usually idealized as an infinite source or sink for charge, which can absorb an unlimited amount of current without changing its potential.

Just as per the explanation above, our human body is the electronic circuit. We all need to ground and connect to an infinite source which is the Earth. Because once we make  this connection then we start absorbing an unlimited current of energy that helps us to survive anything and tolerate everything without changing our true potential and nature.It helps us to let go and drop down our burdens of unwanted thoughts,suppressed emotions and release it all into the arms of the earth to be burnt into the hot molten core of the earth.We need to allow the dying process of this unwanted weight that we carry within us so that the birth of something new starts to emerge within us. Mother Earth is like a holy fire waiting to burn off our unwanted stuff. This eternal flame is alive forever and never ever dies away. Our own inner dying process of the unwanted stuff  and rebirth of a new way can begin with this connection to Mother Earth.

Allow and open to receive the  freeing process  by the unlimited transmission of healing energies from the Earth.

My dear friends breathe do not panic as nothing is impossible,even the word impossible says “I M POSSIBLE.” So freedom is here right now only when we start becoming aware with kindness of all our imperfections and stuckness and of course feel them in our bodies so as to dissolve them. This is where true healing begins.

We do not fight anything we simply meet it and feel it all in ourselves.As that opens the doors to meeting it in the others as well with kindness. Let us start this chain reaction first with self and then passing it forward to the world. We are the creators of a new “KIND”world that is waiting to unfold to serve the generations to come.


1. Ground as a tree, feeling your feet on the ground. Imagining the roots coming out of your feet and anchoring firmly into the ground.

2. Breathe and feel the connection establishing.

3. Allow yourself to drop down energetically and receive the support of the Earth. All this is done standing with knees bent, soft knees. Staying and maintaining connection to the Earth.

4. Now spread out your arms like the branches of a tree to receive the abundance from Father sky. Just the way the tree receives sunshine. Allow the sunshine to light up your entire being.

As mentioned earlier energy follows thought so all this has begun by setting the thought to begin it. Now place your hands on your thighs and start to feel the sunshine of the sky filling  your skin. All around the entire body. Do this slowly feeling it step by step from head to toes. You may move your hands all over you body.Do this by staying connected to the Earth.Once the skin has been fed and filled by mother earth and father sky.

5. Now go a step deeper into your connective tissues and allow the safety  of the earth and the warmth of the sun to fill the inner network of connective tissues. Feel this as you breathe. You may feel pulsations,heat,tingling or even numbness,heaviness. Whatever is present simply let it be. There is no right or wrong here.We are all unique and we all feel it in our own unique way. Simply trust as there is something happening internally even if one does not feel it in the beginning. With practice changes are noticed.

6. Staying connected to the ground.Go a step deeper and feel the above process in your arteries and veins. All this is freely available to support you and fill you up trust me. There is an unlimited supply available for us all.

7. Now go deeper into the trillions and millions of cells in our body. Fill them up.

8. Mentally set what you want to create in your life with a simple positive sentence. For e.g. I choose to be happy,I am free and I claim my life or I attract  abundance etc.,

See what happens and I  look forward to hearing comments and feedback as I learn from you all and grow too. Together we are unwinding, freeing and growing into A NEW PEACEFUL WORLD.

Infinite Blessings to all. May we all awaken to loving kindness.

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As per my personal experiences  I truly believe and feel that the greatest energy  that exists in this Universe is that of “GRATITUDE”.This has been scientifically proven by the water experiments conducted by Dr. Emoto, a Japanese scientist.

From Mr. Emoto’s work we are provided with factual evidence, that human vibrational energy, thoughts, words, ideas and music, affect the molecular structure of water, the very same water that comprises over seventy percent of a mature human body and covers the same amount of our planet.

A question was put forth to Dr.Emoto, whether he had come across a particular word or phrase in his  research that he had found to be most helpful in cleaning up the natural waters of the world? Attached below are Dr.Emoto’s answers.

DR. EMOTO: Yes. There is a special combination that seems to be perfect for this, which is love plus the combination of thanks and appreciation reflected in the English word gratitude. Just one of these is not enough. Love needs to be based in gratitude, and gratitude needs to be based in love. These two words together create the most important vibration. And it is even more important that we understand the value of these words. For example, we know that water is described as H2O. If we were to look at love and gratitude as a pair, gratitude is the H and love is the O. Water is the basis that not only supports but also allows the existence of life. In my understanding of the concept of yin and yang, in the same way that there is one O and two Hs, we also need one part yang/love to two parts yin/gratitude, in order to come to a place of balance in the equation

Love is an active word and gratitude is passive. When you think of gratitude — a combination of appreciation and thankfulness — there is an apologetic quality. The Japanese word for gratitude is kan-sha, consisting of two Chinese characters: kan, which means feeling, and sha, apology. It’s coming from a reverential space, taking a step or two back. I believe that love coming from this space is optimal love, and may even lead to an end to the wars and conflicts in the world. Kan-sha is inherent in the substance H2O — an essential element for life.

From time immemorial our ancestors have been stressing the importance of gratitude.As children we learn from our parents to thank everyone. Energetically, I feel that gratitude opens a sense of inner spaciousness in both the giver and the receiver. This space allows the unfoldment of further creation and connection to stay potent and alive forever.

Just  like the way “light”travels to infinity and can never be destroyed, in the same way the words of gratitude once spoken stay alive forever. Again as I have mentioned in my earlier articles first and foremost  practice gratitude towards self before it is passed over to the others.

Make it a practice when you wake up in the morning to thank yourself for being here on Earth followed by thanking all your organs,bodily systems,cells for the optimal functioning today. Acknowledge, honor and thank every aspect of your day even before it has begun so as to make room for more creation and connection to occur for your highest good.Be open, surrender and trust for everything in our life happens to help us grow.

Gratitude opens the inner doors to receive the outer blessings and sunshine abundantly.It activates an inner sense of aliveness.It feeds and fills us up when we receive a thank you from someone. It makes us feel welcomed and received. It is like a boomerang that always comes back to you thousand fold once given out to anyone.

My dear friends,the secret to abundant life is being in gratitude.I am sure we all want abundance to flow to us effortlessly, right? So let’s begin offering our thanks and appreciation to everything and everyone here on Earth so that we can all be nurtured,nourished in every way forever.


1. Begin the day by thanking yourself. Thank your bodily organs, systems,cells for performing their functions healthily and optimally.

2. Follow this by thanking the day. Thank all the blessings and grace that the day is going to offer you.

3. Thank your family.

4. Thank your friends and enemies. Remember you are freeing yourself by thanking your enemies. I understand it is difficult especially thanking those that have hurt us. Since energy follows thought let’s begin the unwinding of the “stuck hurt”energy by just a thought of thank you to those who have hurt us.Be kind to yourself and do what feels right to you in the moment. Please do not push yourself in anyway.

5. Thank the plant kingdom, animal kingdom,mineral kingdom for being here.

6. Thank all the four elements —Fire, Earth, Water,Air.

7. Thank your achievements as well as your failures.

8. Thank every being on this Earth.

9. Thank the Universe for being here.

Make “Gratitude”  the abundant energy that oozes out from every pore of your being. Pour it out unconditionally , turn your inner tap on and open to receive the universal blessings thousand fold into your lives.

Blessings, peace and love to all beings.A very big “THANK YOU” everyone.

Everything in this Universe exists in relationship.

We know there is a Universe only when we know there are other dimensions,planets,galaxies,stars etc., We know there is light only when we know there is darkness. We know there is sun only when we know that there is  a moon. Nothing in this existence can be known without its relationship with another.No single unit or entity or being  can know of its existence, identity in this dualistic world of relationships without the existence of another.

I hope you understand what I am expressing here.It is not possible for anything to exist without another. There has to be another present to know that you exist.A child cannot be born without a mother.A tree cannot be born without the earth or soil.We all need relationships.

Our human condition is all about relationships. The relationship of prime importance is the relationship with self. We know of the quote in the Bible which is also one of the ten commandments which says,” Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you”. As per my personal experience it is important first to do unto self what you would like others to do unto you.

The way I relate to myself is the way that I will relate to others. For e.g. In case I am constantly judgemental about myself all the time then I will only be able to offer judgements to the others too.

In case I always betray myself and continue self sacrifice then I will also do the same to the others as well. In case I constantly abandon my own self then I will do the same to the others as well. In case I do not receive myself with kindness then I will do the same to the others as well.

This means that only when I start to love myself then only will I be able to love the others. This means only when I forgive myself then only will I be able to forgive the others. This also means  that the way I relate to myself in all aspects of life is the same way that I will relate to others as well.

Ponder deeper for a minute,breathe and be aware and know that it is all about my relationship to myself that is going to unleash the manifestation of the creation of my own reality. This includes all aspects of my life.

What I give to myself is what I will receive from the world. I have free will to choose what I wish to give to myself. Either I give love or hatred, either I  give harshness or kindness, either I  give criticisms or acceptance and so on and so forth.

In order to be free we need to take self responsibility first  towards self.Whatever my own inner cup is filled with only that shall pour forth. Isn’t it time then to be aware and choose self kindness,self forgiveness,self acceptance,self love,self care,self appreciation.

Again as I have mentioned before since we are vibrational beings we attract unto us what our own inner vibration holds. Choose to fill the inner vibrations with your own true qualities of loving kindness. Be conscious human beings on this human journey.We are all powerful and with our consciousness and awareness can create the world that we all long to live. Now is the time to begin, it is never too late. Begin now with self.

Change your attitude towards self and change the attitude towards the world.


1. First begin by allowing the acceptance  of all aspects of your self with kindness.

2. Begin to look at the beauty in all of yourself.

3. Start offering love to your own imperfections.

4. Start offering love and acceptance to your own limitations. Simply know that you are enough just the way you are and there is nothing that needs to be changed.As this same attitude will then start to pour forth to the world as well. It is only then that we will all truly embody ,”BE AND LET BE,LIVE AND LET LIVE.”

As our own control towards self  dissolves and we incorporate deep surrender and acceptance of self. Then the control towards the world dissolves as well. Start now with self. Move towards the creation of inner freedom as well as outer world freedom.

Know  that everything is perfect,useful and exactly exquisite. All is just the way it is meant to be in the moment. Begin by adopting this attitude towards self.

Only when we start the above process then we shall invite the same from the outside world too.So stop blaming yourself. Stop victimizing yourself.We have two choices either to stay stuck and drown in the old habitual patterns or to re- discover ourselves in our own uniqueness.

We have the power to change our own personal HISTORY  into “HI” “STORIES”. Stories that will help us soar higher and deeper into our own selves thus higher towards others with kindness in every way.

We are all stars on this planet and there is only one on this planet that is like you and only you. Start feeling  and relate to your own brilliance first. For it is only then that the light that you are can  shine and light up the entire Universe.We all need you as there is only one of you.

As I continue sharing  the journey of dissolving  old belief patterns. We also need to start looking at the shadow sides of our being. Our shadows are often sinister and rejected aspects of our being, so there is explicit undeveloped potential in them. We are not aware of it, because anything that is unconscious is just that. Everyone has a Shadow.  I believe that “talking” with and somehow coming to terms with the Shadow self is essential for self-awareness.

Quantum Physics teaches that nothing is fixed, that there are no limitations, that everything is vibrating Energy.

As per the society norms and rules and as per our culture, environment that we reside within, there are certain energies like anger,hatred,jealousy,manipulation etc., that we are not meant to feel. These are considered bad. From our childhood we learn that we need to be “good” children and we are not supposed to have these bad energies within us. So we learn from a very young age to deny these aspects of ourselves. Alas, my dear friends these energies do not go anywhere but they start to build up in our psyche (subconscious,unconscious) like a volcano waiting to explode and come out. When we deny these aspects we  start projecting them on the outside world. We become enslaved by these energies. As we know that what we resist persists thus in the  same manner these energies termed bad start to master us and rule our lives.

For e.g. we have all experienced mood swings wherein we do not know why all of a sudden we feel that uncontrollable burst of rage that comes out from nowhere either on our friends,spouses or for that matter anybody else whom we are in relation. We do have the choice and the power to dissolve these unconcious repressed energies from our psyche by the shadow process.

My dear friends we need to start looking at our shadow stuff and start the process of accepting and embracing all aspects of ourselves with kindness.Both the perfect as well as the imperfect for only in that process  lies true experience of inner freedom. The process of facing our demons begins with awareness and acceptance  of the demons with kindness.When we face them they  start to loose their power over us.

According to Debbie Ford,author of ” The Dark side of the light chasers”, the Shadow Process gives us access to loving all of ourselves. This deep and profound work teaches us how to love each and every aspect of our humanity. It enables us to embrace both the darkness of our smallest self and the brilliant light of our highest self. Making peace with our dark side is a sacred journey. It demands rigorous honesty, courage and a great deal of compassion. Embracing our shadow delivers us emotional wholeness and the absolute freedom to be who we are. When we are filled with self-love and self-appreciation, we automatically attract the miraculous experience of love and appreciation from others.

Until we make peace with our shadow we will continue to be at war with ourselves and with others too. Until we feel authentic compassion for each and every aspect of ourselves, we will continue to draw forth people and events that will mirror the negative feelings we have about ourselves.Until we take back our power and forgive ourselves for being human we will attract people who push our buttons and reactivate our emotional wounds. And until we find the courage to love ourselves completely, we will never truly be able to experience the love from those around us.

Embracing  the shadow is the greatest gift that each of us can give to ourselves. Each aspect of our shadow helps us in uncovering our true light.

What the Shadow Process provides is a way to love what we have feared, to decode the messages we receive from within and to unleash the power that is hidden within us. When we stop judging yourself and welcome the lessons of the Shadow, only then can we walk in the power of our Shadow.


1.Set the intention to be honest with yourself and journal different aspects of yourself that have been repressed and rejected by you for a long time.

Write down everything all your faults, idiosyncrasies, downfalls, etc. Everything that you think is wrong or bad or needs to be changed about yourself.It should all be listed on the paper. Now read it over aloud. Read it again and again…as many times as it takes for you to not be ashamed, upset, guilty or to have any reaction to the words.

2. Feel the sensations that the above process evokes in your own body. Witness and experience them with kindness. Tolerating all with kindness. Breathe  promising to be with all aspects of your shadow self. Do not abandon,reject,repress,judge or deny them any more.

This starts a process of creating an inner shift  of the  frozen energies held in the shadow. It starts to open and unwind an inner spaciousness inside your own body. You are welcome to place your own hands on your body where you feel discomfort. Remember to stay with it throughout the entire process.

3. Once the energy has been drained off your Shadow qualities, then read the paper over again, but add “I forgive myself and release all judgment over _____. (whatever the quality was.) Do this as many times as is necessary for you to feel an inner unwinding and opening of inner spaciousness.

4. Allow your body to release the judgment and express your newfound freedom. Dance with your Shadow, waltzing with it in your arms like an old lover. Raise energy by dancing to anchor the  shadow unwinding ritual in your reality.

When you’re finished dancing, look into the mirror and tell yourself sincerely how fabulous you are, perceived faults and all.

Have a celebration of cakes and wine and allow your Shadow to integrate into you fully.

Be your whole self from now on.

The above process is simply the beginning. This is a journey that one needs to be committed to practicing on a daily basis for as long as we live here on this Earth. We have trillions and billions of cells in our physical body that carry the hidden aspects in us. Begin today with loving kindness and dedication to doing the shadow process.

Welcome  and honor yourself for doing  the work of inner freedom and liberation as we continue to breathe on Mother Earth.